Sunday, February 9, 2014

Tears of Pain and Joy

From tears of Pain to tears of Joy!
From devastation to manifestation!

And men shall speak of the might of Thy terrible acts: and I will declare Thy greatness.
They shall abundantly utter the memory of Thy great goodness, and shall sing of Thy righteousness.
The LORD is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy.
Psalm 45:6-8




Never too old to try new things!
From behind the computer to behind the Yamaha Majesty 2 wheeler, balancing 467 lbs machine with 400 cc engine, which is a pleasure to ride on the quiet Highways.


I would've never thought of riding a bike again after I got married several decades ago, and raising four children. I had become crippled with worn out hip joints over a five year period. The pain became unbearable and by 2002 I couldn't walk further than 100 feet . Why the waiting for help, you may wonder? We have experienced many healings and have been standing on God's word, especially Isaiah 53:5, "But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon Him; and with His stripes we ARE healed."

When the promises of God are not being manifested in our lives, we need to search our own heart, we are lacking something... somewhere... not desperate enough... no faith... too involved with the things of this world... too busy with other "important" issues... being sidetracked by the lies of satan... etc. Many things can be standing in the way of receiving divine healing, and any other blessing of the Lord. We fail, but God cannot fail, remember?

I had come to the point of having allowed this disability for too long and had become accustomed to it. Therefore, divine healing became beyond my reach and I had to look for a substitute. I never said that it was not God's will to be healed, for this would go against His word and promises, and against my conviction. "Search me O God, and know my heart and way," has been my prayer all along.

In the past I personally have been healed of many afflictions and these healings have been lasting.
Let us go from the biblical point of view: "God's promises are Yeah and Amen, and He is NOT a man that He shall lie." God's will is right in His word, if you didn't know it yet.

When Jesus walked this globe He healed ALL who came to Him." Matthew 12:15, Luke 6:19 and Luke 4:40
Jesus said: "Thy faith hath made thee whole." Matthew 9:22.
"And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all manner of sickness and all manner of disease among the people." Matthew 4:23.
For the healing of a boy, Jesus replied: "All things are possible to him who believes." Mark 9:23b

Jesus sent out His disciples with the power to heal and to cast out demons. In the New Testament, after the outpouring of the Holy Spirit, we can read in Acts of the manifestation of healing. 

Again the Apostles were bestowed with the Gifts of the Holy Spirit which also include "healing". In 1 Corinthians Chapters 12-14 we can read anything concerning the Gifts of the Holy Spirit and His working in the congregation and personal life. All these Gifts are presently in operation until the day that which is PERFECT is come. (see 1 Cor. 13:10).

Back to where I left off... Although I counseled daily for many hours through the internet, I slept only two hours per night for a year leading up to my first surgery in 2003, which became a disaster. 
The surgeon messed up my leg, made it 3/4" too long, damaged my sciatic nerve and left me in horrible pain for months after. By the way, they nearly killed me with an overdose of morphine through Intravenous, while in the hospital.

Since my leg was 3/4" longer than before I now was struggling with too short leg muscles, which needed to be stretched. I could not straighten my leg. I have much tolerance to pain and didn't want to take any pain pills, since I noticed soon how addictive these can become. But you try to stretch these leg muscles into place and you would be screaming, I promise.

I couldn't walk properly and not without a cane, because I was limping. I couldn't bend down not even to cut my toenails. The following year I inquired for another specialist to operate on my other hip. This was a local young surgeon. He did an excellent job and made my leg 3/4" longer to match the other one. 

This meant that I had again to stretch the muscles of that leg as well. This exercise takes weeks (rather a few months) before one can walk and bend naturally. I walked with crutches and canes for months and even checked out the internet for a "mobility" scooter to get around on.

Through all these years I was still counseling full-time through the internet and nobody noticed that anything was wrong with me. The remarkable thing was that while doing the work of the Lord behind my computer, I hardly experienced pain. The counseling was important for me to do, since it kept me in line and focused on the Lord, as I advised others to do.

I was not beyond hope and refused later on the thought of getting a mobility scooter. No way, was I going to give up. I needed God to raise me up and restore me.

Several months after my second surgery I went for a check-up. I still had the cane with me, but could do without it. The specialist told me to do this and that and he said that all looked fine. So, I asked the doctor: "What all can I do now?" He replied, anything you like. Coming back into the waiting room I asked the secretary if she would take my cane and I asked my husband to give me the keys to the car. He was dumbfounded and said: "What do you need the keys for?" I replied, because I'm going to drive you home. The waiting room was all laughter!

It still took over a year to get my two legs "working" together in harmony and I had to learn all over again to bend down to pick something up or to cut my toenails, putting socks on, etc. Slowly but sure I gained my ability to do the things I couldn't do for years. Now, you wouldn't know that something has been so wrong in my body. I can even jump and run.

It was my husband, Casey (yes blame me for it, he says) who encouraged me in 2006 to ride a motorbike again, as I have done many years ago. I argued with him that these monsters were far too heavy for me. He replied: "How did you handle your heavy bike when you were only 120 lbs, some 40 years ago?"  "Were you stronger then, than that you are now?" 

He told me that it was a matter of keeping balance, more than strength. I agreed with him. But by then I was getting close to 69 years old. Anyway, I did as I was told... smile... and bought the Yamaha Majesty.

A few months later I visited the same surgeon for my yearly check up. I came in riding my Yamaha, walked into the waiting room in my black leather bike jacket, wowing the two secretaries, while taking off my helmet. 

It was my turn to walk into the doctor's office, he looked at me and calmly said: "I saw you coming in on your bike"... (pause) he continued: "Let me see you walk," and I did. I also told him that my legs were of perfect same length and that nobody would ever know what I went through, being now able to walk normal with artificial hips. He stood in front of me, looking straight into my eyes, while he said: "I... AM... IMPRESSED!" (another pause). I replied: "AND... SO... AM... I." We both laughed and were happy for such a successful ending.

Throughout these years God taught me some important things... never to give up... to have patience and to endure all things, because He is in control. He molded me more into His likeness.

The above is a snapshot of my story, not mentioning all what lies in between. May the above encourage you to follow Christ no matter what. We fail, mess up and may miss His blessings at times, but this is NOT the end of the world, neither the end of our walk with Him. AMEN!!

I give all the glory to God, but I would like to add one more comment... my husband, Casey has been standing with me very closely over the years. He supported me 100% on all sides. He was there when I suffered, cried, prayed. He did everything I couldn't do. His night rests were often just as short as mine, because he cared.

As for me.. it was like the dawning of a NEW DAY. THANK GOD!

I am now riding a Suzuki Boulevard 800 CC

Copyright © Dr.Trudy Veerman, 1996-2014. All rights reserved.
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